Celebrating 10 years! 2007-2017

Update after moving to DCSS

Well my life is way less depressing. That being said I think cocolawyer06/12/17
Oh I forgot I have a job offer with the Golden State Warrior cocolawyer06/12/17
How sure are you that she's moving back there? Has she bough mrtor06/12/17
99% sure. We are from the bay. She was born and raised in SF cocolawyer06/12/17
Coco, did they give you any seniority for pay and position p guyingorillasuit06/12/17
Sort of. They gave me a higher starting grade because of my cocolawyer06/12/17
Sorry to hear about your personal troubles. It sounds like y mrtor06/12/17
what was the final straw that broke the camel's back re divo ipesq06/12/17
A lot of different areas created the issue. We never have se cocolawyer06/12/17
Dang, adding to the divorced attorney statistics. mtbislife06/12/17
Yeah but it really doesn't have anything to do about me bein cocolawyer06/12/17
Was she not willing to fix things? mtbislife06/12/17
She got mad when I brought up the lack of intimacy...then ca cocolawyer06/12/17
I hate to see relationships degrade to that, but I know exac jeffm06/12/17
It had been a long time coming. I have had a consistent sex cocolawyer06/12/17
She sounds like a crappy person. You have plenty of time, be mtbislife06/12/17
I am sure she has a different perspective but that is common cocolawyer06/12/17
Good luck! It looks like a lot of transitioning all at once jeffm06/12/17
The fact I am a veteran really helped out getting the initia sanka06/12/17
I'm sorry to hear that. I know you were really excited about thirdtierlaw06/12/17
I just saw the posting online and submitted my resume. Nothi cocolawyer06/12/17
Thanks for the update coco. Hang tough. vohod06/12/17
I hate to hear about your marriage but it does sound for the isthisit06/12/17
Was there any indication wife would turn out that way before 2breedbares06/12/17
there is no way to tell. a y woman could go crazy after chil defensivelawyer06/12/17
Thank you for sharing them! I hope you will continue to have htmlcolor06/16/17

cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:09 pm)

Well my life is way less depressing. That being said I think I just hate the law in general. I will likely be looking to transition to an out of law position soon.

Also filed for divorce from Wife...so life right now is in a bit of transition. Anyways haven't commented in a while so thought I would just make a thread letting you all know that DCSS is much much better then family law litigation....law in general though just sucks.

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:26 pm)

Oh I forgot I have a job offer with the Golden State Warriors as a program manager...about $35k dollar reduction in pay plus a move back to the bay area. Only reason considering is soon to be ex is moving back to the bay area and it would be easier to facilitate a workable visitation schedule.

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mrtor (Jun 12, 2017 - 3:56 pm)

How sure are you that she's moving back there? Has she bought or rented a place yet? It would be pretty terrible to change jobs, take that kind of a pay cut, and then find out she changed her plans.

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 5:29 pm)

99% sure. We are from the bay. She was born and raised in SF. All her family is there. It's not a battle I want to wage in Court considering she is the primary caregiver and she has a standing offer by Littler to come work for them. I would likely lose a move away case and would create a much more contentious situation that would bleed over to the financials. I saw it every day.

I would rather take it in the shorts fiscally for the short term then be a blow up situation.

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guyingorillasuit (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:23 pm)

Coco, did they give you any seniority for pay and position purposes based on your years in private practice?

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:30 pm)

Sort of. They gave me a higher starting grade because of my years in practice. They would do the same with a lateral from another counties DCSS except they would be preferred to get the job in the first place. The fact I am a veteran really helped out getting the initial interview though.

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mrtor (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:33 pm)

Sorry to hear about your personal troubles. It sounds like you made a good move by transitioning out of private practice and into a government job. I recommend sticking it out through your divorce. It is easy to find yourself searching for greener pastures when life has beat you down. See if you still feel this way after your personal distractions have resolved.

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ipesq (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:34 pm)

what was the final straw that broke the camel's back re divorce? Is you soon to be ex going to finally find work or will you be giving her half your salary for the foreseeable future?

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:38 pm)

A lot of different areas created the issue. We never have sex, I sleep in a different room, she always complains, even a trip to Belize didn't help. It just was time. She is a wonderful mother but damn.

No job but she knows I will Vocational Evaluation her in a heart beat so she just agreed to two years of support and done. I am fine with that.

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mtbislife (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:37 pm)

Dang, adding to the divorced attorney statistics.

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:39 pm)

Yeah but it really doesn't have anything to do about me being an attorney. It just wasn't working.

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mtbislife (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:50 pm)

Was she not willing to fix things?

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:58 pm)

She got mad when I brought up the lack of intimacy...then called me lazy. That was when I went "I am out." I am the only one that works, I do most of the grocery shopping, I pick up all take out food, clean all cars, do my share of the housework and laundry. It was just another excuse. We just were not getting anywhere.

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jeffm (Jun 12, 2017 - 1:08 pm)

I hate to see relationships degrade to that, but I know exactly what you are talking about. When you are on your own, that burden will be lifted, and there will not be so much negative energy.

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 1:21 pm)

It had been a long time coming. I have had a consistent sex life with my wife in years. I can count on two hands the amount of times we have had sex in the last 3 years.

The nagging and complaining had gotten worse, as she refused to do the housework saying she was always tired. She stays up to 2 in the morning every night. I tell her to go to bed and she just claims its her "me" time. I have a part time maid to help her, a pool boy to clean the pool she wanted but never used, and a Gardner for the plants she is to lazy to water. I literally had to pay for a drip system because everything kept dieing. It just was time. Her one redeeming part of the relationship is that she is a great Mother.

Like I said it was just time. I am in my early to close to mid 30's...I am not dead yet.

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mtbislife (Jun 12, 2017 - 1:35 pm)

She sounds like a crappy person. You have plenty of time, best of luck.

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 1:42 pm)

I am sure she has a different perspective but that is common in divorces. I love her, I just can not continue the current spiral into oblivion. She is good person

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jeffm (Jun 12, 2017 - 12:56 pm)

Good luck! It looks like a lot of transitioning all at once. I hope you are able to view it as an adventure rather than a drag.

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sanka (Jun 12, 2017 - 1:53 pm)

The fact I am a veteran really helped out getting the initial interview though.


She likely is angry that she is not living s financially secure life as a respectable war widow.........

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thirdtierlaw (Jun 12, 2017 - 2:24 pm)

I'm sorry to hear that. I know you were really excited about being able to switch to this job and all the good that would come with it. Was it really a grass is always greener situation. I know you said you like it better than your old job, what makes it so unbearable?


How'd you get the Golden State gig? Sounds like it could be interesting.

Best of luck.

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cocolawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 4:22 pm)

I just saw the posting online and submitted my resume. Nothing special.

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vohod (Jun 12, 2017 - 3:23 pm)

Thanks for the update coco. Hang tough.

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isthisit (Jun 12, 2017 - 3:30 pm)

I hate to hear about your marriage but it does sound for the best. And I'm glad professionally you're doing better. Good luck out there 👍.

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2breedbares (Jun 12, 2017 - 4:11 pm)

Was there any indication wife would turn out that way before marriage? Concerned because my lady might become like your ex.

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defensivelawyer (Jun 12, 2017 - 4:13 pm)

there is no way to tell. a y woman could go crazy after children.

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htmlcolor (Jun 16, 2017 - 11:49 pm)

Thank you for sharing them! I hope you will continue to have similar posts to share with everyone!
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